What No One Tells You About the Early Days

I thought I was ready.

The baby books were stacked in neat piles. The hospital bag was zipped shut by week thirty-five. I had watched the car seat video tutorial three times and felt smugly confident clicking it into place.

And yet nothing prepares you for what happens next. Not the birth. Not the endless nappies. Not even the first night at home when you suddenly realise you are in charge of a whole human.

I still remember one particular morning. I was standing in the kitchen with a newborn in one arm and a slice of cold toast in the other. I hadn’t slept more than two hours. I wasn’t sure if I needed a cry, a shower, or a cup of tea. I stood at the sink in tears, trying to decide which one to do first.

The baby was fed. I wasn’t.

No one had warned me how much I would question myself. No one had said that healing physically and emotionally while learning to feed, settle and function as a new version of myself would be its own kind of marathon.

I had planned so much for the birth. But not for what came after.

This blog is for the parent reading with one eye open at 3am. The one who wonders if they are getting any of it right. The one who scrolls social media and sees happy faces and matching outfits but secretly thinks, “Why does this feel so hard for me?”

It feels hard because it is. Not because you are doing it wrong. But because you are doing something enormous.

Bringing a baby home is one of the biggest transitions of your life. And yet support for you as the parent is often patchy at best and missing entirely at worst.

As a health visitor, I have sat in countless living rooms with parents who look at me with a mixture of relief and panic. They want to ask everything. But they are also scared they might look silly. They want to be told they are doing a good job. But they also secretly hope I might say something that makes them feel less alone.

So here is what I want you to know in those early days.

It is normal to feel unsure

You might feel overwhelmed by decisions. Breast or bottle. Co sleep or cot. On demand or routine. Every conversation feels like a test. Every well meaning visitor has an opinion. You try to nod politely while secretly wondering if your baby is broken or if you are.

You are not. Your baby is not. You are both learning together.

You are still healing

Birth is an enormous physical and emotional event. Whether it was straightforward or complicated, you need time to recover. And yet, we often gloss over this part. We expect new parents to bounce back quickly, to reply to texts, to welcome visitors, to feed and soothe and keep going.

You deserve rest. You deserve nourishment. You deserve support.

Support is not a luxury

You do not need to be in crisis to reach out. You do not need to wait until you are weeping in the shower to ask for help. You do not need to justify why you want someone to check in on you, not just the baby.

Support is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of wisdom.

That is why I created The Nest. A space where new parents can feel held, not judged. A WhatsApp group where you can ask the real questions. A place for messy middle-of-the-night truths, not just milestone photos.

And for those who want more personalised support, I offer:
HV Half Hours – A thirty minute chat where you can bring any question, big or small. We will make sense of the noise together.
Private Development Checks – You do not need to wait months to know if your baby is developing well. These checks are relaxed, informative and reassuring.
In-house Health Visitor Visits – Yes, I come to you. In your home. With no clipboard, no judgement and absolutely no need to tidy up.

This week in The Nest we are focusing on you care. Not just baby care. Because you matter too. We are asking:

What surprised you most about the early days?
What does support look like when it actually helps?
What do you need today, not just to survive, but to feel steady again?

There will be honesty. There will be laughter. There will be parents saying, “Same. Me too. I thought it was just me.”

And above all, there will be reassurance.

Because even if you are microwaving the same cup of tea for the third time…
Even if your baby only naps in the pram but screams in the cot…
Even if you cried watching a nappy advert yesterday…

You are not behind.
You are becoming.

You are not failing.
You are adapting.

You are not alone.
You are parenting in a world that often forgets how much new families need to be held.

So let this blog be your reminder. Your virtual arm around the shoulder. Your permission slip to ask for what you need.

You do not have to do this alone. And you do not have to pretend it is all okay when it is not.

You are doing better than you think.

And if no one has told you this today: I am proud of you. I see you. You are enough.

Helen x
Health Visitor | Parenting Partner | Founder of The Nest

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Want to join The Nest?
Our WhatsApp community is open to all parents who want a safe, supportive space to talk about real life with little ones. You will also get access to free resources, expert insights and first dibs on available one-to-one sessions.