If your baby or toddler wakes during the night, you are not alone.
Normal night waking is one of the most common worries parents share, and one of the biggest sources of self-doubt and exhaustion in the early years.

Many parents come to me believing their child’s sleep is broken, that they have created bad habits, or that something must be wrong because their child doesn’t sleep through the night. Often, the problem isn’t the waking itself, but the fear around it.

The truth is reassuring, even if it doesn’t always make nights easier: night waking is normal throughout infancy and early childhood.

This article will walk you through what research actually shows about night waking, what is typical at different ages, why children wake, and when extra support may be helpful.

Why night waking causes so much anxiety

Modern parenting culture places huge pressure on sleep. Parents are often told that by a certain age, their baby should be sleeping through the night. When that doesn’t happen, it can trigger anxiety, guilt, and constant questioning.

Night waking is often framed as a problem to fix rather than a developmental stage to understand. This can leave parents feeling they have failed or missed a crucial window.

In reality, children’s sleep develops gradually. There is no switch that flips where waking suddenly stops.

What research says about night waking

Sleep research consistently shows that waking at night is biologically normal for babies and young children.

Studies looking at infant sleep patterns have found that:
• Most babies wake during the night
• Many wake more than once
• Sleeping through the night in infancy is uncommon

Even when babies are healthy, well fed, and securely attached, night waking often continues.

Importantly, research measures arousals, not just full wake-ups. Many children wake briefly, reposition, vocalise, or seek reassurance before resettling. Parents do not always notice every waking.

This means night waking is often more frequent than we realise.

Normal night waking by age

While every child is different, research gives us a helpful picture of what is typical across large groups of children.

Newborns and young babies (0–3 months)

In the early months, frequent waking is expected.

Babies in this age group may wake five or more times per night. Their sleep cycles are short, their stomachs are small, and their nervous systems are immature.

Night waking at this stage supports feeding, growth, and neurological development. Long stretches of sleep are not a goal or requirement.

Babies aged 3–6 months

As babies grow, sleep cycles begin to lengthen and night waking often reduces gradually.

Many babies still wake two to four times per night at this age. Some may manage a longer stretch, while others continue to wake frequently. Both patterns can be normal.

This is often the stage where expectations start to creep in, even though biologically many babies are not ready to sleep through.

Babies aged 6–12 months

This is the age where parents are most often told that their baby should be sleeping through the night.

However, research shows that around 70 to 80 percent of babies aged 6 to 18 months wake one to three times per night.

Only a small percentage of six-month-old babies sleep for six hours straight on most nights. The vast majority continue to wake.

Night waking at this age can be influenced by:
• Teething
• Developmental milestones
• Separation anxiety
• Illness
• Changes in routine

This is not regression. It is development.

Toddlers aged 12–24 months

Night waking often continues into toddlerhood, although it may look different.

On average, toddlers wake around half to one time per night, but there is wide variation. Some wake more frequently, particularly during periods of change or stress.

At this stage, waking may be linked to:
• Increased awareness and memory
• Emotional development
• Language growth
• Desire for reassurance

Toddlers are learning to make sense of their world, and night time can feel vulnerable.

Older toddlers (2–3 years)

Many toddlers still wake at night, even though this is rarely talked about.

Some wake briefly and resettle. Others need comfort, reassurance, or help settling back to sleep. Fears, imagination, and big emotions often emerge at this age.

Night waking here does not mean sleep has gone backwards or that boundaries have failed. It reflects emotional and neurological development.

Why children wake at night

Night waking is not random. It serves important purposes.

Children wake because:
• Sleep cycles are shorter than adults
• Their nervous systems are still developing
• They seek reassurance and connection
• Illness, discomfort, or growth disrupt sleep
• Emotional processing continues overnight

Adults also wake during the night, but we usually resettle without remembering. Children often need support to do the same.

Is night waking ever a problem?

In most cases, night waking alone is not a cause for concern.

However, it can be helpful to seek advice if:
• Waking is sudden and unexplained
• Your child seems in pain or distressed
• There are feeding difficulties or poor growth
• You are worried about breathing, reflux, or discomfort
• Parental exhaustion is becoming overwhelming

Support does not mean something is wrong. It means you deserve help.

The impact of unrealistic expectations

One of the hardest parts of night waking is not the waking itself, but the story parents are told about it.

When night waking is framed as abnormal, parents may:
• Push themselves beyond exhaustion
• Feel pressure to “fix” their child
• Lose confidence in their instincts
• Avoid seeking reassurance

Normalising night waking removes blame and fear, even if nights are still tiring.

Supporting yourself through night waking

Understanding what is normal does not mean doing nothing. It means responding with compassion rather than panic.

Support may look like:
• Adjusting expectations
• Sharing the load where possible
• Seeking reassurance rather than solutions
• Getting guidance that fits your child

There is no single right way to respond to night waking.

Where to get support

If night waking is leaving you feeling stuck, you do not have to navigate it alone.

Inside The Nest, my parenting support community, we talk openly about night waking without judgement, pressure, or fear. Members receive evidence-based guidance, reassurance, and space to ask questions safely.

If you prefer something self-paced, my Stan Store sleep guides cover different ages with clear explanations and realistic support.

For families needing tailored help, I also offer 1:1 Sleep Support and HV Half Hours, where we can talk things through calmly and practically.

You do not need to do everything. You only need the support that feels right for you.

A gentle reminder

Night waking is not a sign of failure.
It is not a habit you have caused.
And it is not something you must fix immediately.

For many children, waking at night is part of growing, learning, and feeling safe.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is replace fear with understanding.